Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
