dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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