So drunk its hurt
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When are your genitals available?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize