Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
