i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Mom said you looked used
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
