Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
