come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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