he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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