There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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