Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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