I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
