glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
