Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
