I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
