his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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