no, he came in my armpit
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
