The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
