I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
