Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
