I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
