you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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