I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
