my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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