I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
