Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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