worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
