Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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