just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
