No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
