R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
