Please, let me fuck your mom
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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