this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
