Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
