u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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