we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
