i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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