Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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