And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
