my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
