So drunk its hurt
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize