Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize