Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we should paint friendship bongs
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