i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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