we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
