she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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