My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
