votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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