there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
