forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
