4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Alive.
So much puke
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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