Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize