i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
