My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
