Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
