i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
