that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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