Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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