you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
