Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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