Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
