I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I deserve this hangover.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
