she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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