yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
