Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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