i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
