How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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