Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize