i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
