Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize