your parents love me but you hate me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize