who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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